Day 3 Hour 1

Got out there 3 times this week!  Shopping this afternoon...All By Myself!

Day 2 Hour 1

Getting my steps in again. Is running supposed to make your elbow-pits hurt?

Day 1 Hour One

Gettin' some steps in.

Goals

I've got some Goals. With a capital "G". And I don't dare write about them here; not explicitly at least.

I think that planning gives me a sort of rush that doing does not. The excitement, the "what could be", the potential!! What I have to remember is what G's high school swim coach told him:

Potential means Hasn't Done Shit Yet.

Ouch, because that's what my plans are until I do them. I get the thrill from planning that more ambitious people get from doing and it is such a disservice to myself. So I have theorized that sharing my goals/plans gives me a premature sense of accomplishment and robs me of the satisfaction I could get from completing them.  And here's a short TED talk that refers to a study that backs this up.

And I've got some shit that I really want to do, so mum's the word for now.

Inspiration

I don't think I would even be trying this if I hadn't seen someone do (something like) it first. I'm blessed to be surrounded by some pretty inspiring people--people that have taken the steps to do their Thing and stuck with it. My friend, R, is a Runner with a capital R. She is the kind of Runner that says things like, "15 miles today--looking forward to it!" and is not being the least bit cheeky about it. Another friend, J, does freakin' Roller Derby and now her daughter does it as well and I think that is just beautiful. My BFF, M, and her husband have been doing Crossfit for just over a year. I swear she goes nearly every day and the fact that they both do it is totally admirable because they have 3 busy boys, she owns a business and somehow they are able to juggle their schedules so they can both get their butts to the gym.

But mostly, my inspiration is G. We grew up swimming on the same summer-league team and he was a (really good) swimmer in high school and college. About a year ago he got back in the pool and started training for a 5K SWIM. Yes, SWIM. 3.2 miles in a LAKE. Two weeks ago, he did it for the second time and I can go around saying, "My husband is a swimmer." and it is pretty awesome. Here they are, all my loves, in Lake Washington the day before the 5K. The kids are playing and G is heading out to get in some yards before the big day. Do you see Miss Sassy Pants giving S a shove? She spends much of her time in the water being completely offended that we think she can't swim (she can't, she's a baby for crying out loud) and trying to get to deeper water. She was right at a drop-off and that rude brother of hers thought she maybe shouldn't be allowed to drown.

Not to lessen anyone's accomplishments, but I do think, "If they can do it, so can I." R, J, M, G and others around me are regular people, with regular lives and none have unlimited time, money or resources to help them do what they love and get their butts in gear. Some even have their own set of challenges or history that make what they're doing quite hard. I admire them so much, I hope I can be like them.

I Should Clarify

It's not that I don't get lots of "Me Time." Heavens no. My husband, G, is the absolute best--if anything he allows for me to be a bit selfish with the "Me Time." And my kids are great. S is nearly 13 and he is basically another parent, O is now 7 and he helps tremendously and while E can be a bit of a pain in the ass challenge, her snuggles keep me going and her brothers keep her entertained. So actual time is not the problem.

The problem is more that I don't exactly use my time wisely. In first grade we had daily work "packets" and when you finished your packed you went over to this board full of tags, found the tag with your name and flipped it over. Everyone with their tag flipped went to recess after lunch, otherwise you went back to the classroom to finish your packet--I think you can see where this is going. Nearly every day I was in that classroom for recess and it wasn't because I couldn't do the work--there was just OTHER things I would rather be doing and going out to recess was clearly not my currency.

So when I get those moments of free time, I often sit and watch TV or check my phone. Because it is easy and it is there. Sure I COULD be productive, but I have already shared that execution is not my forte. It also takes a bit of preparation to do things that would be a better use of my time so that is more execution that I just can't handle without prior planing.

And how much more awesome will it feel to be INTENTIONAL about doing something for myself? That's Radical Self Care, my friend (more on that later).

The Challenge

I am terrible at execution.

For as long as I can remember, I have excelled at planning. Playtime with my best friend involved getting our Barbies ready for their day, talking about what would happen, setting the stage...and then moving on to their next adventure. We never actually PLAYED Barbies. When we were a bit older, we created elaborate plans for a fictional dance studio: floor plan, scheduling, billing, rosters. We never actually went as far as to PLAY dance studio. In college, I poured over the course schedule and marveled at all the planning that went into it (assigning professors, scheduling, room availability--oh my!) and then when it was time to actually DO college my effort was just enough to get by.

The fun is in the planning--all the potential details are out there, just waiting to be chosen and arranged. Anything is possible! The world is yours!! And then you have to DO it. The DOING part is HARD. What fun is that??

So here is my challenge for myself: During the month of August, dedicate 2 hours/day, 4 days a week for myself. Ideally, one hour of exercise and one hour of creating something, but I'll take what I can get. 8 hours a week, all for me.

More than Mommy 2 x 4.